Carols and Effect
by Capt. Cow
Summary: Hehehe, its a Christmas fic with a cheesy title. What more could you want? Enjoy and review please!


We wish you a Merry Christmas…

A/N- Happy Christmas everyone! Here is this years Christmas story, I wonder if I can make it even cheesier then last year? Anywhoo, this is vaguely inspired by a carols in the park thing… Hope you enjoy, PLEASE REVIEW AT THE END! Reviews are the best presents you can give!

Klink covered his ears exasperatedly and moaned into his desk. Yet another chorus of 'We wish you a merry Christmas' had started up in the camp, and the terrible singing quality was making him seriously consider a holiday on the Russian Front just to escape it.

Klink's only comfort was the fact that this year Schultz had refrained from wearing his Santa suit. Last year the General had arrived while he was still in full Christmas voice, and informing Klink that he would receive coal for Christmas for being a very naughty boy. The colonel shudder as he remembered the colour Burkhalter's face had turned.

There was a brief pause in the singing outside the window, and Klink let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. But the relief was only temporary, as Jingle Bells came blaring out. He dared a look out the window, and saw that not only were the prisoners singing, but they were also doing actions.

Surely there was some way to stop this! Klink thought, downing a couple aspirin (A/N did they have Aspirin back then?) with a quick drink of water.

And then suddenly it came to him. Like a bolt of lightning, and Klink groaned when he realised who the only person who could stop this was.

"Hilda!" he called, pouring himself a quick drink. "Can you please call Colonel Hogan over; tell him to make it fast."

"Right away sir!" came Hilda's voice. There was a giggle, a shuffling noise and about a minute later Hogan was standing at the door, an innocent expression plastered on his face.

"You called sir?" he said, giving Klink a floppy salute and plonking himself down in a chair.

"Can you make your men stop that awful noise? They sound like a cat being strangled…slowly!"

"Well, sir, I'm shocked!" Said Hogan, his lips quirking into a small, rather devious smile. "I couldn't possibly make the men stop their singing! It's the only Christmas cheer they can get in here!"

"That may be so Hogan, but your men are such poor singers I think they could win awards for it!"

Hogan considered this, staring out the window to where 'Deck the Halls' had started up, though it seemed that not one man had managed to hit the actual notes yet.

"There may be a way sir." He concluded finally.

"Anything Hogan anything!" Klink was desperate.

"If you give the men, some other form of Christmas cheer, say, a good Christmas dinner, a present for each man, and a box of Christmas cards so each man can send one to his family, then maybe they could be persuaded to stop."

"Colonel Hogan!" Klink shouted, outraged, "there is no way!"

It was then that one of the singers, a British Sergeant from Barracks 6, began a solo of Hark the Herald Angels Sing. To Hogan, it actually sounded worse then nails down a blackboard.

Klink flinched, like he had been physically hit.

"Ok Hogan, anything you want!" He moaned.

"Write it down sir! The men will want to see it for themselves."

Klink complied miserably, writing as fast as he could so he could cover his ears quicker.

"There you go Hogan! Now make them stop! PLEASE!"

Hogan flashed him a grin, and left the office, carrying the piece of paper with him.

He was grinning broadly when he reached the men, who were now onto the First Noel.

"Ok boys, give it a rest." He said, "he gave in."

"Are you serious? That's fantastic! This is gonna be the best Christmas away from home ever!"

The rest of the group gave Carter an odd look.

"What?"

Hogan ignored him and moved on.

"Great idea sir. I didn't think Klink would ever budge on those things." Kinch said, smiling broadly.

"He wasn't going to, it was Sergeant Dunsk's solo that sent him over the edge."

"I'll take that as a compliment sir" the Brit said smiling.

"That's how it was intended sergeant" Hogan said smiling.

He grinned broadly as the rest of the men began to chatter excitedly about what the present from Klink might be. Though nothing would make him happier then being home for Christmas, this shouldn't be too bad either.

Hogan spotted Schultz walking passed and his smile broadened, Christmas might not be too bad after all if they could get Schultz to dig out the santa suit…

"Hey Schultz! Come over here for a sec…"

A/N- Well, there's this years Christmas attempt. Hope you enjoy it, Merry Christmas and all that. Remember…Jesus is the Reason for the Season!


End file.
